I just wanted to share my Mom success today. I have reached a new level of "Perfect Mother", and I hope you won't be too pea green with envy.
Today, I drove the kids to school while still wearing my pajamas. Not the plaid flannel pants that are 20 years old and sometimes pajamas and sometimes not, depending on whether I am also wearing proper foundation garments. These are real, baby blue p.j.s, right off the clearance rack. Oh, and I complimented my ensemble with my favorite holy, or is it 'holey', slippers. Hey! See the embroidered monogram? These were magnificent in their heyday!
And the spectacularness, I don't care if you don't think that it a real word, I'm on a roll today, doesn't stop there. Sister mentioned, on the way to school, that they have a field trip today. You remember field trips, don't you? Where Perfect Mothers remember to return permission slips before the kids are getting on the bus, and everybody has a sack lunch because you won't be going to the cafeteria that day........
I wonder what they do with the little Kindergarten kids who don't have permission slips and sack lunches? Oh, I can't be bothered with those details right now. I've got spectacularness to get back to.
Anyway, I hope you will understand if I stand a little taller, stick my chest out a little further, not be able to suck in my post-baby belly at all, and wrinkle my nose at your very stylish, very chic, very NOW tall boots with detachable spats. Why again, do you need detachable spats in the suburbs? No judgment. Just curious. I would wear them, too, if I could fit my wide calves into them.
Hopefully someday, you will reach Perfect Mother status, then you can wrinkle your nose with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment