On This Day in History

On June 25, 2015:

Big Brother, who has eaten American cheese, woven wheat crackers and strawberry yogurt for lunch every day for the last six years, requested spaghetti for lunch today. Spaghetti? That is not on the "I will only eat these eight foods" list.

Sister, who believes that all fruits and vegetables are the work of the devil, especially those stinky strawberries, requested a second helping of watermelon. She ate the first helping without threats or coercion? 

I don't know whether to ride this good fortune and try to potty-train Tank today, or drop everything to go buy a lottery ticket. 

Me: "Hey Tank. Let's ditch that diaper and wear these really cool robot underwear!" 
Tank: "Never!"

The odds are more in my favor with the lottery.

My Apt Pupil

Sister, languishing on the couch: "You have to do everything I want you to do and get me whatever I want to eat because I'm sick."

Big Daddy, looking accusingly at me: "Well, she DID learn from the best."

Like a Trip to the Spa

Clerk at the grocery store this evening: "Are you ready to get home, put away these groceries, and relax?"

Me, staring at her like she is crazy: "This IS me relaxing. The kids at home. Take your time ringing up those groceries."

Doesn't It Feel Like Christmas?

I feel the Christmas spirit on this first weekend in June. Enough so that I felt compelled to compose a little song to celebrate.

Two Nights (to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Don't hear a thing, are you listening?
There's no screams, no tears are glistening.
Giddy with delight.
We're happy tonight.
The kids're at Grannie and Papa's for two nights.

Gone away is our early bird.
The house is dark, I don't hear a word.
No screams before dawn.
I sleep all night long.
The kids're at Grannie and Papa's for two nights.

In the morning I can take a shower.
All alone, no faces 'gainst the door.
No little voices asking "Wha a dewing?"
Over and over until 
I scream "No more!"

We're going out, we'll conspire.
We'll party hard, but we're liars.
Leftover pizza is our fate.
Asleep before eight.
The kids're at Grannie and Papa's for two nights.