Sister: "Can you make the decision to get married and not have kids?"
Me: "Ahhh, sure."
Sister: "Then what do you do after you get married?"
Me: "You live your life."
Sister: "But what do you DO?"
Me, wistfully: "You do whatever you want to do. And you don't have to wipe runny noses or poopy bottoms or cook anything with 'nuggets' in the name."
Tank: "Mah bot-um's nah poopy!"
Thank goodness for small favors.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
Cutting Out the Middleman
Tank: "Ah wan dat por Chwiss-mash."
Me: "Well, you can put it on your Christmas List and tell Santa that's what you want him to bring you for Christmas."
Tank: "Ahm tel-wing YOU, so YOU can bwing it to me por Chriss-mash."
Me: "Well, you can put it on your Christmas List and tell Santa that's what you want him to bring you for Christmas."
Tank: "Ahm tel-wing YOU, so YOU can bwing it to me por Chriss-mash."
Thursday, December 17, 2015
All Creatures, Big and Small
Sister, in hysterics by the Christmas tree: "Spider! Spider! Spider! There's a spider in here!"
Me, from the kitchen and before coffee: "Then get a shoe and kill it."
Sister, in continued hysterics: "Tank! Get a shoe, and kill the spider!"
Tank, thoughtfully and calmly, kneeling by the tree: "I can't kilw da pidew. He mah fwiend. He wanna see da Chwiss-mash twee."
Merry Chwiss-mash Little Pidew.
Me, from the kitchen and before coffee: "Then get a shoe and kill it."
Sister, in continued hysterics: "Tank! Get a shoe, and kill the spider!"
Tank, thoughtfully and calmly, kneeling by the tree: "I can't kilw da pidew. He mah fwiend. He wanna see da Chwiss-mash twee."
Merry Chwiss-mash Little Pidew.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Limping Into The Weekend
Tank, pointing to the left shoe on his foot while holding the right shoe under his arm: "Wook wha I did!"
Me: "Yes, you put on one of your shoes. Why didn't you put on the other one?"
Tank, sighing: "Too many feet."
We have worn ourselves out this week.........
Me: "Yes, you put on one of your shoes. Why didn't you put on the other one?"
Tank, sighing: "Too many feet."
We have worn ourselves out this week.........
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