Tank: "Mommy? Ah six?"
Me: "No. You're not six."
Tank: "But Ah eat! Mah tum-mee biggewr!"
Me: "Yes, your tummy is bigger, but you're not six. You are three."
He leaves the room.
He comes back into the room.
Tank: "Now Ah six?"
Me: "No. You're still three."
Living Room Laundry
Friday, January 22, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
The Brilliant Birthday Boy
Tank, singing: "Ap-pee burfday to meee! Ap-pee burfday to meee!"
Tank, speaking: "Mommy! Today is mah burfday!"
Me: "Really? How old are you?"
Tank: "Ah ten mi-utes old!"
Me: "You're ten minutes old?"
Tank: "Yesh."
Yes, in the grand history of the universe, he just may be ten minutes old.
Oh my gosh.
(whispering): He's advanced.
Tank, speaking: "Mommy! Today is mah burfday!"
Me: "Really? How old are you?"
Tank: "Ah ten mi-utes old!"
Me: "You're ten minutes old?"
Tank: "Yesh."
Yes, in the grand history of the universe, he just may be ten minutes old.
Oh my gosh.
(whispering): He's advanced.
Sister's Random Statement of Fact
"Tomorrow is the future............Yesterday was the past. Today is now!"
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Do You Smell Something?
Sister: "Can you make the decision to get married and not have kids?"
Me: "Ahhh, sure."
Sister: "Then what do you do after you get married?"
Me: "You live your life."
Sister: "But what do you DO?"
Me, wistfully: "You do whatever you want to do. And you don't have to wipe runny noses or poopy bottoms or cook anything with 'nuggets' in the name."
Tank: "Mah bot-um's nah poopy!"
Thank goodness for small favors.
Me: "Ahhh, sure."
Sister: "Then what do you do after you get married?"
Me: "You live your life."
Sister: "But what do you DO?"
Me, wistfully: "You do whatever you want to do. And you don't have to wipe runny noses or poopy bottoms or cook anything with 'nuggets' in the name."
Tank: "Mah bot-um's nah poopy!"
Thank goodness for small favors.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Cutting Out the Middleman
Tank: "Ah wan dat por Chwiss-mash."
Me: "Well, you can put it on your Christmas List and tell Santa that's what you want him to bring you for Christmas."
Tank: "Ahm tel-wing YOU, so YOU can bwing it to me por Chriss-mash."
Me: "Well, you can put it on your Christmas List and tell Santa that's what you want him to bring you for Christmas."
Tank: "Ahm tel-wing YOU, so YOU can bwing it to me por Chriss-mash."
Thursday, December 17, 2015
All Creatures, Big and Small
Sister, in hysterics by the Christmas tree: "Spider! Spider! Spider! There's a spider in here!"
Me, from the kitchen and before coffee: "Then get a shoe and kill it."
Sister, in continued hysterics: "Tank! Get a shoe, and kill the spider!"
Tank, thoughtfully and calmly, kneeling by the tree: "I can't kilw da pidew. He mah fwiend. He wanna see da Chwiss-mash twee."
Merry Chwiss-mash Little Pidew.
Me, from the kitchen and before coffee: "Then get a shoe and kill it."
Sister, in continued hysterics: "Tank! Get a shoe, and kill the spider!"
Tank, thoughtfully and calmly, kneeling by the tree: "I can't kilw da pidew. He mah fwiend. He wanna see da Chwiss-mash twee."
Merry Chwiss-mash Little Pidew.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Limping Into The Weekend
Tank, pointing to the left shoe on his foot while holding the right shoe under his arm: "Wook wha I did!"
Me: "Yes, you put on one of your shoes. Why didn't you put on the other one?"
Tank, sighing: "Too many feet."
We have worn ourselves out this week.........
Me: "Yes, you put on one of your shoes. Why didn't you put on the other one?"
Tank, sighing: "Too many feet."
We have worn ourselves out this week.........
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